Autistic Kids are Terrific

There is a saying in the autism field: "if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." In other words: every person on the autism spectrum is unique, and one person's set of symptoms is just that ... one person's symptoms of autism! This is, in part, because autism is a spectrum disorder: you can be a little autistic or very autistic.

But there's more to it. An array of problems are relatively common among autistic people such as seizure disorders, gastrointestinal issues, mental retardation and mental illness. At this point, no one knows why these conditions are so common among people with autism spectrum disorders. It is possible that these additional conditions are indicators of different kinds of autism, each caused by a slightly different set of circumstances.

While the conditions listed above are more common among autistic people than among the general population, they are by no means universal among people on the autism spectrum. In fact, many autistic people have no apparent mental or physical illness at all.

Delayed or unusual speech patterns (many autistic children, for example, memorize video scripts and repeat them word for word with the precise intonation as the TV characters)
• High pitched or flat intonation
• Lack of slang or "kidspeak"
• Difficulty understanding tone of voice and body language as a way of expressing sarcasm, humor, irony, etc.
• Lack of eye contact
• Inability to take another's perspective (to imagine oneself in someone else's shoes)

Tips for Understanding and Managing Your Autistic Child's Behavior

Children with autism are LESS likely to misbehave intentionally than typical children. Their apparent bad behaviors -- such as bolting from the room, whacking a peer, refusing to take part in circle time, climbing the fridge -- are often caused by external problems that can be solved by calm, creative parents.

1) Know Your Child
Few autistic children are intentionally "bad." Many have difficult behaviors. So what's going on? Each child is different, and knowing your own child is key to taking action. Is your child extra-sensitive to sound and light? Does she need lots of sensory input? Is he likely to misunderstand a close approach? The more you know, the easier it is to troubleshoot a situation.

2) Modify Your Expectations
Your mother may have expected you to sit still through a full dinner hour. But that's not a reasonable expectation for most children with autism. Consider starting with a smaller goal -- sitting still for three minutes, eating with a fork, or whatever you think he can handle -- and building toward the larger goal of sitting through a full meal.

3) Modify the Environment
Safety is key. And for autistic children, creating a safe environment is a challenge. Since so many of your child's behaviors may have the potential to be dangerous, it's important to take precautions such as bolting shelves to the walls and floor, putting a dead bolt on the front door, and latching cabinets securely. One About.com reader even put plexiglass on the fronts of bookshelves to keep her child from climbing.

4) Consider the Possible Sources of the Behavior
Many children on the autism spectrum either crave or over-respond to sensory input. Some alternate between the two extremes. Very often, "bad" behavior is actually a reaction to too much or too little sensory input. By carefully observing your child, you may be able to figure out what's setting him off.

5) Remove Overwhelming Sensory Input
If your child is over-reacting to sensory input, there are many ways to change the situation. Of course, the first option is to simply avoid overwhelming sensory settings such as parades, amusement parks and the like. When that's not an option, consider ear plugs, distracting sensory toys, or plain old bribery to get through difficult moments.

6) Provide Sensory Input
If your child is crashing into couches, climbing the walls or spinning in circles, chances are she's craving sensory input. You can provide that in any number of more appropriate ways. Some people recommend bear hugs; other suggest squeezing youngsters between sofa cushions, rolling them up like "hot dogs" in blankets, or providing them with weighted vests or quilts.

7) Look for Positive Outlets for Unusual Behaviors
While climbing the entertainment center may be "bad" behavior, climbing at a rock gym can be a great way to build muscles and friendships at the same time. While spinning at the grocery store may be odd, it's ok to twirl on a tire swing. What's a problem in one place may be a virtue in another!

8) Enjoy Your Child's Successes
We were the only parents on the block to cheer at our son's first intentional fib. We're thrilled when he says "yes" to a playdate, completes a full sentence, or kicks a ball back and forth a few times. He's not likely to captain the soccer team -- but he is successfully becoming himself.

9) Worry Less About Others' Opinions
Your child is really doing a fine job in the grocery store. He may be flapping a bit, but it's no big deal. Until you catch the eye of the mom with the perfect little girl -- staring at your son. Suddenly his flapping seems like a very big deal, and you find yourself snapping at your son to "just put his hands down!" It's not easy, but it's important to remember that he's autistic -- not intentionally embarrassing!

10) Find Ways to Have Fun Together
It's not always easy to associate autism and fun. But if you think about it, rolling your child up like a hot dog, bouncing on a trampoline or even sitting and cuddling together can be a lot of fun. Instead of worrying about the therapeutic value of each action, try just enjoying the silliness, the tickling, the cuddling...and the child. At least for a little while!

Play Therapy and Autism: The Basics

Play therapy was originally conceived as a tool for providing psychotherapy to young people coping with trauma, anxiety and mental illness. In that context, play becomes a way for children to act out their feelings and find coping mechanisms.

This type of play therapy is still popular; however, it is NOT the same thing as play therapy as used for children with autism.

Most specialists offering something called "play therapy" to children with autism are actually providing something akin to Floortime Therapy. Floortime is a play-based technique which builds on autistic children's own interests or obsessions to develop relationships and social/communication skills. The Play Project is another therapeutic approach which uses play as a tool for building skills in autistic children. Like Floortime, it builds on children's own interests.

It is possible to be officially credentialed in Floortime therapy through a certification program that includes a wide range of content. This certification is offered through the Interdisciplinary Council on Developmental and Learning Disorders (ICDL), but is not recognized by any of the national therapeutic associations. Thus, most "play therapists" are not so much credentialed as they are experienced and/or trained. Of course, as with all autism treatments, the onus is on the parent to investigate the therapist's background, training and references, and to closely monitor progress.

Why Would a Person With Autism Need to See a Play Therapist?
Autism is largely a social-communication disorder. Children with autism find it extremely difficult to relate to others -- particularly to peers -- in ordinary ways. Instead of playing with toys in imaginative or symbolic ways (pretending a doll is really "my baby," for example) they may perseverate on objects, use them for self-stimulation, and become entirely self-absorbed.

Play is a wonderful tool for helping children (and sometimes even adults) to move beyond autism's self-absorption into real, shared interaction. Properly used, play can also allow youngsters to explore their feelings, their environment, and their relationships with parents, siblings and peers.

Very often, too, play therapy can allow parents to take an active role in their autistic child's growth and development. Play therapy can be taught to parents, and, over time, parents can become their child's therapist while also building a stronger, more meaningful relationship.

What Does a Play Therapist Do for People with Autism?
A good play therapist will get down on the floor with your child and truly engage him through the medium of play. For example, the therapist might set out a number of toys that a child finds interesting, and allow her to decide what, if anything, interests her. If she picks up a toy train and runs it back and forth, apparently aimlessly, the therapist might pick up another train and place it in front of the child's train, blocking its path. If the child responds -- verbally or non-verbally -- then a relationship has begun.

If the child doesn't respond, the therapist might look for high-interest, high-energy options to engage the child. Bubble blowing is often successful, as are toys that move, squeak, vibrate, and otherwise DO something.

Over time, the therapists will work with the child to build reciprocal skills (sharing, turn-taking), imaginative skills (pretending to feed a toy animal, cook pretend skills) and even abstract thinking skills (putting together puzzles, solving problems). As a child becomes better able to relate to others, additional children may be brought into the group, and more complex social skills are developed.

Many parents find they can do play therapy on their own, using videotapes and books as a guide. Others rely on the experience of trained play therapists. And still others choose to simply bring their children to a play therapist or have the therapist come to their home. In any case, play therapists can provide parents with tools to connect with and have fun with their children on the autism spectrum.

Top 10 Terrific Traits of Autistic People

If you're sick of hearing about all the "deficits" challenging people on the autism spectrum, join the club. But for every down side to autism, there seems to be a positive -- an unusual trait that rarely appears among the "typical" community, but shines out among autistic folk. These plusses are well worth celebrating.

1. Autistic People Rarely Lie
We all claim to value the truth, but almost all of us tell little white lies. All, that is, except people on the autism spectrum. To them, truth is truth -- and a good word from a person on the spectrum is the real deal.

2. People on the Autism Spectrum Live in the Moment
How often do typical people fail to notice what's in front of their eyes because they're distracted by social cues or random chitchat? People on the autism spectrum truely attend to the sensory input that surrounds them. Many have achieved the ideal of mindfulness.

3. People with Autism Rarely Judge Others
Who's fatter? Richer? Smarter? For people on the autism spectrum, these distinctions hold much less importance than for typical folks. In fact, people on the spectrum often see through such surface appearances to discover the real person.

4. Autistic People are Passionate
Of course, not all autistic people are alike. But many are truly passionate about the things, ideas and people in their lives. How many "typical" people can say the same?

5. People with Autism Are Not Tied to Social Expectations
If you've ever bought a car, played a game or joined a club to fit in, you know how hard it is to be true to yourself. But for people with autism, social expectations can be honestly irrelevant. What matters is true liking, interest and passion -- not keeping up with the Joneses.

6. People with Autism Have Terrific Memories
How often do typical people forget directions, or fail to take note of colors, names, and other details? People on the autism spectrum are often much more tuned in to details. They may have a much better memory than their typical peers for all kind of critical details.

7. Autistic People Are Less Materialistic
Of course, this is not universally true -- but in general, people with autism are far less concerned with outward appearance than their typical peers. As a result, they worry less about brand names, hairstyles and other expensive but unimportant externals than most people do.

8. Autistic People Play Fewer Head Games
Who was that woman, and why were you looking at her? I know I TOLD you I didn't mind if you went out, but why did you believe me? Most autistic people don't play games like these -- and they assume that you won't either. It's a refreshing and wonderful change from the Peyton Place emotional roller coaster that mars too many typical relationships!

9. Autistic People Have Fewer Hidden Agendas
Most of the time, if a person on the autism spectrum tells you what he wants -- he is telling you what he wants. No need to beat around the bush, second guess, and hope you're reading between the lines!

10. People with Autism Open New Doors for Neurotypicals
For some of us neurotypicals, having an autistic person in our lives has had a profound positive impact on our perceptions, beliefs and expectations. For me, at least, being the mom of a son on the autism spectrum has released me from a lifetime of "should" -- and offered me a new world of "is."